The beginning of a new journey...

This is a post

longmonologue.livejournal.com/4928.html

A picture of a cold, crisp winter's day.

A note, with a single question.

"Did we save the world?"

I wish I'd taken a picture of my room before I packed it. I think this is the first move where I look at the empty walls and realise that, this is gone, and it is never coming back again...

I broke my personal record of pounding out an essay at top speed: 1,500 words in 2 hours deserves an award, I feel. Currently on a coffee hype - I'm actually buzzing and trembling! My teacher realised a little too late that the official school deadline for this essay was next week Friday - we hadn't even started yet...

MSN's being evil and not letting me log in at all, so anyone trying to contact me is best of e-mailing me!

Living in a country where they celebrate Chinese New Year is nice: you get an extended holiday weekend, half the country leaves to go look for greener (or busier) pastures, and there's plenty of calorific CNY's goodies to engorge yourself on.

(Or you buy a tub of B&J's for the same purpose)

Currently however, I'm stuck writing a Biology Experiment practical on... Beans. You've got it. BEANS.

I don't care about beans. Therefore, I fully intend to cruelly murder the ones in the experiment I'll be doing - 90 degrees celsius may denature their enzymes? Fine, let me hear their screams as they shrivel up. I'll dance around their little petri dish trays as their substrates whimper and cry as they are unable to find their active sites, which have by this point been gruesomely reshaped. And then I'll feed their soft corpses to the cats that prowl the school grounds.

...And you thought killing animals for meat was cruelty. Sweeney Todd's got nothing over me!

I think it is time to break out the brunette hair dye again! My blondeness has seeped into my skull, making me do at least 1 very stupid thing a week!

Since the beginning of this New Year, I have done the following stupid things:

1. Got pissed. Veeery pissed. This was the first day of the new year.
2. Biology exam: Answer the essay questions the wrong way. Get 4 marks out of a potential 20 on one paper.
3. Fall on my butt during jogging because I didn't tie a shoelace correctly.
4. Break iPod due to above fall. (Got a new one from the center!)
5. Chuck socks into unflushed toilet instead of a piece of tissue I used to clean make up off...

Yep.

Where's the brunette hairdye?

You know life might be improving when...

your friend's talking to you again.

your teeth are finally getting *very* straight.

you're capable of ignoring the bad exam grades, and believe in your power to improve them.

your own mum decides to ply you with drinks and you have a fantastic night out with her.

and you want to post about it in your livejournal because you are feeling content.

Well, my MOCK exams are done, and I'm feeling quite mixed. Biology is a fail due to a mistake I made in *how* I did the exam... Instead of answering 3 questions from 1 section I answered a question each. Thankfully, as my biology teacher/tutor put it: 'It's on a mock. DON'T DO IT IN THE REAL THING'

Hum.

The rest went okay-ish.

This weekend has been spent in a 'I like the sun, I like sitting outside, I like reading and I have no homework!' fashion, which I'm fine with.

I've been thinking an awful lot about the fact that I'm moving out in such a short time - my UK friends don't get that for me, the university will not provide me with an on campus room. Instead I'll have to find one in the city, hopefully in a street that is fun and safe to live in.

The course I am intending to study is International and European Law. I really want to avoid being stuck in Holland forever! I can't bear the thought of having to settle down - I need a life that's lived in many places. But you can't always get what you want, but you can hope for it. Badly.

Off to go sit in the sun again with that book I've been needing to finish!

Part 1 of History (Wars and Dictators) is done. It went... huh. History is difficult to judge - I'm never too sure about myself. Last time I thought I did meh, I got 16/20 - a 7. So we'll see, I suppose.

Still knitting, it's quite relaxing =).

I've started knitting! So this means that, according to my friend, I'm doomed. Currently, I'm knitting a scarf... in 33 C with a tropical thunderstorm in the background. Let's just say it's a simple to start off with, hmm?

Next two weeks are filled with 'fake exams', aka, practise exams for the real thing in May. According to my school, they are 'important to you, not us'. Hm. I'm okay with History, Bio, Econs and commentary writing. But maths is a race to the bottom, and I haven't even glanced at my literature texts yet. Oh, and there's China and Japan..... *doom doom doom*

I'll just go knit, and hope this rain passes so I can go run off the tension.

Nope, don't wanna.

Nope, not gonna.

Nope, don't need no education.

I'm stuck in Holland until Tuesday next week: I had prepared my revision schedule in such away that I would be able to cook away under the force of a jet lag when I got back in Singapore. No jet lag, but I've studied everything for the next week and see no point in practising maths or studying a subject that's late in the second week of my MOCK exams...

Also, I hadn't brought any of the revision materials needed for English. Yup, you've got it, there is one subject I was planning to do when I got back to Singapore. So I'm now leaving Saturday (today) open for whatever the heck I wanna do.

*goes to dress for a shopping trip*

Heh, everyone's got their lists of things they fully intend to do in 2008 ready...Jogging is much more fun at the beginning of a year in any case: plenty of people out and about to smile at as I skip by.

Anyways, here's mine:

1. Update this journal more often.
2. Make myself, and my friends, realise that arguing about trival matters is unimportant. We've only got half a year of school left together! We should enjoy it while we can.
3. Move out, be more sociable and set up a life =).
4. Clean the citrus smelling goo off my keyboard.

I'm viewing 2008 as the year of change.The year of change in attitude, schooling, lifestyle and family relations. I want to contact my cousins more often, build up a better relationship with my brother and so forth.

Also, do not eat citrussy fruits by your keyboard... the serious explosion of goo that may come from pinching them is not worth it...

*scuttles of the look for a cloth*

A year has passed, and I'm feeling quite strange today.

On the 19th of March, my grandfather, Eelse, passed away. It was his birthday. He passed away after he was almost torn away from my grandmother by a rapidly spreading illness that took his personality and his life. The spread was quick, painful and above all cruel. On the 17th of March, he'd had his leg surgically removed to lessen the pain. On the 18th of March, we decided to not have his machines keep him alive any longer. He passed away 30 minutes after my grandmother had told him that 'It was okay - he could go'.

On the 29th of December, 2 days before we were meant to ring in a new year and wish for one that did not tear our hearts out, my grandfather, Pieter, passed away. He was 84, and thank our lucky stars we were in Holland, and that we visited him on this day. All four of us kissed him goodbye at 3.30 PM. At 8 PM, the nurse gave him some food, and he hummed and sang in his own strange way as she stepped out of the room. When she returned at 9.45, he'd passed away in his sleep. He did not suffer, but had a beautiful 4 years and 8 months where, even with Alzheimer's, he managed to still enjoy many things in life.

2007 has ended, and we can say goodbye to these things and hope for the best.

Happy New Year.

May 2008 be beautiful and filled with happiness, change and above all good health for the two strong women who remain: my grandmothers, Aagje and Sjoerdtje.

*sprawled out on her couch, surrounded by English homework that is being properly ignored*

I just got back from a History school trip to Russia (Saint Petersburg and Moscow). I can honestly say that I have never, ever been to such an impressive, beautiful, yet completely bizarre country in my life. With every step you take, you are walking through its rich history - whether you are in St. Petersburg or Moscow, you cannot avoid being told by your guide of a building and its past.

The people may seem grumpy at first sight, but as long as you're not a racist bigot, you'll find that they seem to just hold protection mechanisms that come from a past of invasion by foreign powers into their country. Would you like the Germans if they besieged a large city for 900 days?

I have so many pictures, so many memories, so many positive feelings about this country. I actually want to go back there someday, odd as it may seem. Many of the other people on this trip couldn't wait to get home...

*sighs, closes her eyes*

I'll be back later with pictures of Russia, stories and just general reflections.

Here goes nothing...

Hi! I'm Longmonologue, or, Emmeken (Which is a Dutch way of saying M, and therefore not my real name). You may be call me by whatever you like. I am currently an 18-year-old Dutch expatriate girl living in an unknown location in Asia. This basically means that, until I finish my last year of high school in May I'll be living abroad, before I move back to Holland to continue my studies at uni.

The reason for the creation of this journal is that I feel that in real life (in particulary in Asian cultures), free speech can sometimes be truly inhibited by the forces of friendship and family. Yes. By friends and your dearest loved ones. Because you may not want to disappoint/lose this people, you might bite your tongue at many, many times to avoid too much confrontation. I long to be able to discuss my issues with people who may be strangers to me, and have therefore created this journal.

I'm also a fanfiction/orginal story writer every once in a blue moon, and those bits and bobs may be posted here. If I ever finish something.

Additionally, I enjoy baking and real life discussions. Travelling, although I hate planes, is also one of the best things about being an expatriate and is therefore likely to be discussed here. I also do not shy away from discussing HAPPINESS, and not just depression, although the real world may sometimes want me to be less contend with their life so they can be on common grounds with me (oh dear, there's one free speech issue already). So if you can't take some flowers and hearts every once in a while... you best step away.

Here is my first ranty introduction post =D. There's a reason this journal is called longmonologue... I ramble, rant and bounce a lot...

a pot...

a pog...

a peg...

a pen...

a pan...

a pal...

if you want to be my pal, or friend, leave a message!